Scream it!


Last weeks crazies

I have to write this now, before it's lost to me.


One week back I wrote that I'd be wasted today, and I am. For simplicitys' sake I'll spell it down, day by day, why:


Thursday 17th: nine hours of work, including one hour of lunch

Friday 18th: nine hours of work, fifteen minutes lunch

Saturday 19th: five hours work, no lunch, afterwards rushing to a concert with my family

Sunday 20th: nine hours work, half an hour lunch

Monday 21st: ten hours work, half an hour lunch

Tuesday 22nd: eleven hours work, five minutes lunch

Wednesday 23rd: ten hours work, five minutes lunch


Then it was Christmas eve and I worked between ten am and two pm (four hours), then rushed home to my parents place. Yesterday the store was closed, but today I worked from eight am to three pm (seven hours, without lunch, as I had a fever and just wanted to go home...)


Excluding lunches it's roughly 60 hours of work in one week. So, yeah, sorry if I haven't been getting back to you this last week. Now you know why.



But what about it? These are obviously just printed facts, not saying much in themselves. I'll give you some stories from this years retail:


The top three best-selling games have been, in no particular order, Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 (Playstation 3 and Xbox 360), Assassins Creed 2 (ps3 & 360) and New Super Mario Wii (for Wii, obviously). Assassins Creed 2 was a bit of a surprise to me, as the last game was one of those 'play it then trash it' titles.


At one time, a newly employed colleague asked me what age you need to be to be able to get cash for games that you trade in. “18”, I answered, and he then asked if there was any guidelines on how old you need to be to be able to trade in games for gift cards instead. “Maybe 15 or 16.” was my answer, “It all depends on the situation”. By now the girl in question cut in, saying “Well, that wouldn't be a problem as I'm 22.” My colleagues face then was indescribable; a cute combination of humiliation, surprise, and many more feelings. It was fun to see.

What's more to it was that after the girl had walked out of the store he just couldn't stop talking about his surprise on her age, and about how beautiful he thought that she was. I agree, she looked good, but the way he portrayed it was over the top, but in a cute way. Gotta' love us video game clerks – to much women on our minds, to say the least.


On the 23rd we opened up the store at ten am, and two minutes past costumers were occupying all of our four cash registers. This kept up until ten minutes to two (pm) where we had five minutes of calm. After that the cue kept until half past five, when I at last got the chance to take a five minute break – my first in the whole day. This day was crazy, to say the least, but it was also one of the most fun workdays I've had in a long time.


This, in turn, must have shown. Because one of my other colleagues at one time mentioned that he thought I looked to be 'in perfect harmony with myself and what I did'. Thank you. Thank you a lot! I can't, however, help but wonder if this state of harmony is a good or a bad thing (I felt like I was in harmony, as well), as it demands that I'm both incredibly stressed out and under rather high pressure to deliver good service.

This is obviously how I want to work, but my mother would (like any good mother) kill me for doing it. I feel rather ambivalent on this matter as it's what I want to do, but I also know at the same time that it's bad for me...


And that would be it for this time around. There's many more stories to be told, but maybe not here, and absolutely not now.


Until then, take care

Concerning Christmas


So, yeah, Christmas is over for this time around. I've been working myself half to death for little more than a week (and loved almost every minute of it), and also celebrated it for a couple of hours yesterday.

But that's all for now. Time to go to bed as I'm starting work at 08:00 tomorrow.


The only way I feel that it's Christmas

Now it's Christmas.

Today I worked for almost nine hours, with a fifteen minute break for lunch. Yesterday as well.

Five more days of this and then Christmas eve.

I'm going to be so out when this is over...

The day winter came to Stockholm

was yesterday.

It snowed the whole day, and (unlike before) it stayed white on the ground once the snow hit.

I don't feel that childish fit of happiness when I see snow anymore, neither do I get that calm feeling so many people talks about. I don't feel that much about it, really, but I think it's beautiful. That, and it's very nice that something uppens the brightness somewhat in this otherwise pitch black setting.

This, as well, I believe is the first real snowfall I've seen in about two years. Back in Tokyo last year there was no snow at all, and in London the snow already lay thick on the ground upon my arrival. Sweden, in turn, I don't even remember if there was any snow at all this january or february?

Anyhow. I think it's nice, because it's beautiful, and because it do away with some of the dark. And, yeah, some Christmas feeling for those of you interested in that.

The journey back: Down, but never out

And just like that I walked into one of my j-pop periods, and this song is to blame:


With all the gaming lately I haven't really been into music. Wendy chan's (my iPod, small and pink as it is) been working hard, but as always she's torn between scores, metalcore and j-pop.


It's a bit ironic though, my journey back towards audioconsumption. It all started when I watched this trailer.



I've been thinking on buying 30 Seconds to Mars second album (Beautiful Lie) ever since it came out, but I've never really gotten down to it. This trailer rekindled my curiosity on the band.


Looking into it I found out that of course the album hadn't been released yet, so I had to sate myself with information gathering, the leaked single Kinds and Queens and a big cup of waiting.


Then, back on wednesday earlier this week it was, at last, time. I picked up a copy on my way to school and sat on nails throughout the whole session with Martin, my brother in arms on the paper, honestly just wanting to drop everything and go home and put the record on play. Eventually we called it a day and I practically rushed home. And pressing play on my CD-player I was up for a journey.


You see, 30 Seconds to Mars sound has changed quite drastically with this third record. In lack of better terms I'm proclaiming the sound 'epic'. The whole soundpicture is just big. But this is not all! I said earlier that I'd spent a lot of time reading in on the production of this record, and it's got quite a story to tell.


Long story short they never really wanted to do this album, but were forced by their Label (they would otherwise get sued for breaking contract), so they decided to do something really special out of it. Something dedicated for all their fans. They arranged a gathering they called 'The Summit', where some 1000 fans got the chance of being part of the recording process, letting the mass of people act as an instrument. One other thing is that there are 2000 different covers available for this album, called the 'Faces of Mars' - fans from all over the world got to send in pictures (filling certain criterias), and then had the chance of their picture being on a cover.

A more extensive take can be found here.


This, I tell you, is love for the fans. This is how you put a sole into the music, into an album. And this is why I appreciate this album so much - the music is good, really good, but the story behind increases the value of the album even more.


Wake up call.


It was as I listened to this record that it all came back to me; everything I was losing by playing videogames and not listening to music, not pursuing new musical experiences.


So after this revelation, naturally I set out browsing the web for everything I've missed of late, and found quite a bunch. And out of everything that caught my attention, SMILIFE by Stereophony draw the longest straw.


It really is sad that the scrobbler won't register youtube listenings. I'm pretty interested in knowing how many times I've listened to this song now...




As a parting gift I'm offering you this song as well. If measuring local renown this guy is in many ways the South Korean counterpart to Michael Jackson. After the 24 seconds long intro this song is really soft. Worth trying out.




Fighting a war with yourself must be a good thing, as you're bound to win either way...

One of the bad things about videogaming is that it keeps me away from the computer. I lose track of news, reply to e-mails slower than normal, and don't update this blog quite as frequently.

One of the good things about videogaming is that it keeps me away from the computer. I've long had the problem och being a computer addict, spending countless hours browsing the web, never really doing anything of value.

Christ, I really wish I could come up with a way to add to structure my life, to do away with everything non-productive.

Christ, I really wish I could come up with a way to make my life less structured and forced, to not care so much about the future and instead live for the moment.

Growing long hair again feels good. I've missed it. It adds flavours to my personality that just aren't there otherwise. That, plus that I look good in it.

I want to cut my hair short again. Having this long hair is just a bother. That, and I look ridiculous in long hair.

Responsibility feels good. Towards myself. Towards others. I know I can handle it. Youth is past.

Responsibility feels bad. Towards myself. Towards others. I don't want it. I don't want to lose my youth.

Fighting a war with yourself must be the worse thing, as you're bound to lose either way...

The comeback pt. 2

So, yeah, fuck this post.

It's never the case of nothing happening, just the case of me being either lazy or secretive.

After finishing Dragon Age I jumped right into Jade Empire, another massive game by Bioware. One of the followers you aqcuire in the game is a small girl named Wild Flower.


Wild Flower is the anchor to two demons. One is a guardian who's swore to protect her, and the other is a malicious one who only wants gain total control over the kids body. There is, needless to say, a constant power struggle between these two entities.


Now, this case is rather extreme, but it proves my point that we all have demons within ourselves that we continously need to fight.

My demon is video gaming.

I've been playing an awful lot of video games lately, and I've enjoyed myself to an equal amount. In fact, videogaming is, I believe, the only hobby I have that can rule out everything else in the world for short bursts of time. One could either view this as proof that it's a hobby I should treasure, or one could just get scared by the fact that this is the way things are.

Earlier I've adressed this matter several times over both on this blog and in other mediums. As much as I love videogaming as a phenomena I really shouldn't be playing, as it takes up to much time, time that I really want to spend doing other things.

After all, I always get depressed after waking up out of one of these video instilled furors.

But I guess it's time to act rather than talk. I've been working with this for a rather long time now, and still I haven't found proper balance. This fact annoys me incredibly.

So, comeback announced. Question is, how will I structure this? My mind is all over the place, just like this blogpost, and it's probably due to withdrawal. You hear that? I'm suffering withdrawal for not playing videogames for the entire evening. Now that's fucked up, and even more proof that I should do something about this situation... haha...

Trancient Princess by Monty Oum @

Check out his work Dead Fantasy on youtube. It's a gamers dream.

The comeback pt. 1

This fall I've witnessed how many of the blogs I've been following have shut down. Some officially, some just not getting updated regularly anymore. This has made me very sad, as I like this medium of communication, diary and notebook all in one.

Ponder my last statement, and then try to imagine my anger at myself when yesterday I realized that I've been doing it myself.


I'm not going to give you promises of performance, as those tend to be hollow words by people who have nothing else to write about, but...


And just like that I was stuck by my own way of phrasing. I can neither say 'time will tell', 'I'll do my best', 'wish me luck' or anything like that, as it's all so cheesy. Guess we'll just end this part of the post right here.


So what made me concious of this? Well, music, of course.


Extra points to the one who can guess how...


Damn, I'm not doing any blog-friendly stuff at the moment...

Nice walks with the dogs. No, not really.

Working. Nope, not fun either.

Writing on my paper. Nope.

Playing Jade Empire. Nah.

Hanging out with Elias. Potentially, but no.

Step by little step warming up for Christmas and then the final push on the exam. Not much action in my life up until mid-January... Will keep you updated if anything comes up.

Somewhat nostalgic, but with reason or not?

There are some things, that when you do them you can honestly sat that it's not one day to early.

But yet, at the same time their is a sadness attached to the chosen course of action. It feels like closing a door for good, like turning around to walk away and never to look back.

It's silly, really. I just quit my membership on the all-Swedish subculture-community Helgon (it swedish for 'saint'), and it felt like severing one of my last ties to my childhood.

For good or bad? Mostly for good, I'd wager. But I still felt that pang of regret in my heart doing it.

HitCon 2009 a.k.a. Button-mashCon

This was supposed to be a huge post on this incredible event me, Elias and Carl hosted back on Sunday: HitCon 2009, with a lot of pictures and everything else that you could imagine from a good coverage.

As it turns out the guy maintaining this blog (i.e. me) is very busy and very tired at the moment, so instead you'll have to sate yourself with this short review:

The success of this event makes all previous failures almost worth it. It was that good. And everybody felt that content. Now there actually is a small chance that I'll do something like this in the future again.

Keep me posted if you're interested.

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